ouples run into challenges as a normal
part of relationship. Getting support at challenging times can make
the difference between a relationship mired in conflict, and one
filled with love and understanding. My goal is to provide you with
tools that you can use now, and long after the difficult phase has
passed. I offer a four-part approach to couplesí work.
Learn your Enneagram types and how they interact with
each other to understand yourself, your partner, and the
relationship dynamics. This is a personality typing system with a
lot of depth. It describes core motivations, unconscious needs,
basic life strategies, responses to stress and tools for growth.
It is a tool for self-development, higher consciousness and
- I also use a meditative, body-centered process with you and
your partner to uncover and heal the deeper layers of what is
happening in the challenging moments (Hakomi). This work is
very gentle, but profound. Partners are facilitated in relating in
the office within an atmosphere of openness, gentleness and a
welcoming attitude toward discovering the underlying unconscious
meanings and beliefs behind feelings and behavior.
- I also use EMDR and Brainspotting†to work through
trigger points from the past that affect the present, such as
childhood trauma, painful past relationships and repeated
conflicts. EMDR/Brainspotting is an amazing tool for getting to
the bottom of reactivity, understanding where it comes from, and
breaking the patterns quickly and permanently. The most
challenging moments in relationship are when we "push each other's
buttons."†This is a tool for clearing those buttons, so we
can respond consciously and logically, rather than from
- Learn communication tools such as Nonviolent
Communication, Meta-Communication, Active
Listening and others to build empathy and understanding
between partners. Most couples can really benefit from learning
simple, useful tools for communication and practicing them
together. Once the tools are learned in the office, it can be very
exciting to see issues that would have gotten quite out of hand
get resolved lovingly with conscious communication. With good
communication tools, trust and safety are built. This is the
foundation for empathy and intimacy, which in turn create
satisfaction and fulfillment.
With this approach old wounds are healed, awareness of self and partner is enhanced, and communication becomes more effective. The potential for personal and spiritual growth becomes clear as the journey unfolds. More time is spent enjoying your relationship as conflict gives way to understanding.