Relationship Counseling
 ouples run
into challenges as a normal part of relationship. Getting support at challenging times can
make the difference between a relationship mired in conflict, and one filled with love and
understanding. My goal is to provide you with tools that you can use now, and long after
the difficult phase has passed. I offer a four-part approach to couples’ work.
Learn your Enneagram types and how they interact with each other to understand yourself, your
partner, and the relationship dynamics. This is a personality typing system with a lot of depth.
It describes core motivations, unconscious needs, basic life strategies, responses to stress and tools
for growth. It is a tool for self-development, higher consciousness and freedom.
I also use a meditative, body-centered process with you and your partner to uncover and heal the
deeper layers of what is happening in the challenging moments (Hakomi). This work is very gentle, but
profound. Partners are facilitated in relating in the office within an atmosphere of openness, gentleness
and a welcoming attitude toward discovering the underlying unconscious meanings and beliefs behind
feelings and behavior.
I also use EMDR to work through trigger points from the past that affect the present, such as
childhood trauma, painful past relationships and repeated conflicts. EMDR is an amazing tool for
getting to the bottom of reactivity, understanding where it comes from, and breaking the patterns
quickly and permanently. The most challenging moments in relationship are when we "push each other's
buttons." EMDR is a tool for clearing those buttons, so we can respond consciously and logically,
rather than from unconscious reactivity.
Learn communication tools such as Nonviolent Communication, Meta-Communication, Active
Listening and others to build empathy and understanding between partners. Most couples can really
benefit from learning simple, useful tools for communication and practicing them together.
Once the tools are learned in the office, it can be very exciting to see issues that would
have gotten quite out of hand get resolved lovingly with conscious communication. With good
communication tools, trust and safety are built. This is the foundation for empathy and intimacy,
which in turn create satisfaction and fulfillment.
With this approach old wounds are healed, awareness of self and partner is enhanced, and
communication becomes more effective. The potential behind the conflict for personal and spiritual
growth becomes clear as the journey unfolds. More time is spent enjoying your relationship as
conflict gives way to understanding.
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